1st Post. Drum Roll Please......!

A few interesting things have happened in the last few days. And since nobody has asked about my day in a while, my random thoughts have been building up.
First, I had a patient in ICU on a vent. Only 52 years old. I had to watch his wife talk to him, which I hate doing. Why do I hate that so much? Anyway, she finally left and I was changing the tape that was holding it in his mouth bc it was inside his mouth and all wet and it just looked like it was in the way. So I changed it. As soon as I finished he spit up - thats the only way i know how to explain it. Not throw up, he spit up, like a baby spits up. Like a little mini fountian of goo. First of all, I suctioned him earlier and he was dry. Second, how does he have secretions like that when he's intubated anyway? Am I missing something really simple? Maybe it came from his stomach...? The other thing is, this "spit up" was bright neon yellow, like highlighter colored. Why was it that color? I would like to know.
Ok, next patient.... Still in ICU. A male. I dont remember his age- probably in his 60's. It was 6am rounds. Picture this in your head. He's laying in the Semi Fowlers position. From the waist up he's laying normally. He's sleeping and his mouth is wide open-which is kinda funny. But then from the waist down, his legs are both hanging off the bed, like he thought about getting up but fell asleep first. Then... Are you sitting down for this? Ok... AND THEN I SAW IT. *insert psycho music* There were no blankets on him and he was not wearing undies and his nuts were exposed to thin air. There I said it. I dunno but I was NOT expecting porn at this time of the day and I almost choked on my own air. I 'bout had to give myself some of his 02. BUT, being the professional that I am, I refrained from doing so. Instead, I politely woke him up, put his legs back on the bed and covered him up for God's sake. I'd give you more details, but I looked away as quickly as I could short of giving myself whiplash of the eyeballs. YIKES.